Kingdom Arms by Robin of Thornwood Calligraphy by Robin of Thornwood Populous Badge by Robin of Thornwood

The Nineteenth Year

War of the Sheep
(Applegate - Fetteburg War -- Fettburg)

June 16, 1984 (AS XIX)

From The Page (June, 1984):

On 16 June, AS XIX, the peoples of Applegate and Fett Burg will descend upon Frank Raines Park, 16 miles into Del Puerto Canyon, for the War of the Sheep.

Gates will be open at 7 am Saturday morning, with the first battle to begin at about 10 am. There are flush privies, (cold?) showers, plenty of water, picnic tables, fireboxes, and trash receptacles. However, of the latter there are few, so it may be a good idea to bring your own trash bags.

War scenarios will be distributed at the site. Standard West War Rules will apply. Resurrection sites will be under the trees. There will be games, heraldry, dancing, and other entertainments for noncombatants. Site fee is $1 per person. Campsites are $5-$7 (whether developed or not) for those who wish to stay the night. Car pooling is encouraged, since there is also a $1 fee per car.

There will be a potluck revel starting around 7 pm. We hope to have a Bardic Circle, so bring all your tales, sagas, and stories. Since King Ronald has stiffened the rules on archers in mixed combat, there will be no archery. The site is wet so thosewho have not yet taken the Night Train Express, you are cordial-ly invited to participate in one of Fett Burg's "highest" traditions.

Park rules: 1) Possession of firearms is prohibited. 2) No open fires (firepits available in campsites). 3) Dogs must be on leash at all times.

Directions (omitted).

AUTOCRATS: Jacob Seumas MacGregor & Anne Barton of Greatoaks (contact info omitted). Dirk von KatzenSchwartz, (contact info omitted). John de Sapphire, (contact info omitted).

Fighters of the Knowne World are invited to come and fight for your favorite side. The Shire of Applegate has foully and falsely accused the peace-loving folk of Fett Burg of stealing Applegate sheep for Fett Burg's Twelfth Night feast. However, it is a known fact that there are no sheep in Applegate -- and never have been!

One interesting point: There have been Vikings running around in the canyon ... you can see the evidence of their passing by the ancient Scottish Early Warning System: Red (Scotch) Thistles!


[Editor's note: The following anecdote is the printable one of a collection received from the Applegate Minister of Creative Abuse. If you want to hear the Sheep jokes, you'll just have to go to the war.]

One day, there were two Festerburgians repairing the road. A man of Applegateshire rode by on his new horse and in his fine clean clothes. One Festerburgian said to the other, "Why is it that that fine man of Applegateshire has a new horse and clothes while we are toiling on this road in our soiled rags?" The fine man of Applegateshire said unto one of them, "Why? It's because you Festerburgians are stupid!" "How can you prove that?" asked one of the Festerburgians. The Applegate man placed his hand in front of a tree and said, "Go ahead, hit my hand." The Festerburgian swung at his hand. The Applegate man pulled his hand away so that the Festerburgian hit the tree. The Festerburgian went back to his friend and said, "He says we're stupid!" The other Festerburgian said, "How did he prove that?" The first Festerburgian placed his hand in front of his face and said, "Go ahead, hit my hand with that spade."

Description of this event (if any), taken from The Page, or from memory of at least one person who attended the event.

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