From The Page (June, 1979):
Letters (page 16):
TO CLAN KIDNEY, of whom the Laird is said to have requested an uprising, so he might squelch it upon his return, but now seems to include nearly the entire clan:
AT MARCH CROWN last, we loyal members of Clan Kidney were grief stricken at the departure of our Laird and Baron, Kidney of Kidney, who has gone on a pilgrimmage to the Holy Land (Scotland, of course.) However, that second day of the tourney, there did arise a vile and power-hungry clan chieftan and upstart, Stone of Kidney, and this imposter did don a tacky Robin Hood hat and proclaim himself the "True Kidney," and moreover, the "Right Kidney." Whereupon he seduced the unwary and simple-minded of our clan, as the wolf devours the strayed sheep, and they did cut and maim and desecrate themselves, and have left their kidneys removed in an unsavoury manner.
YA, VERILY, YEA, Repent and believe not this false and verminiferous prophet, for indeed he is no true Kidney, but the Artificial Kidney, Yea, the Kidney Machine, and the veritable ANTI-KIDNEY of whom we had been forwarned for ages past. O Ye of little faith! Return to the fold, and shake off the yoke of this "Has-Bean" of a cut-rate Kidney. For the Kidney has come before, and he will come again, in all the flory of his magic bonnet and dirk, as befits the Once and Future Kidney, and great will be your shame and remorse for having betrayed him!
FOR THOSE whom this rhetoric may have convinced, and wish themselves or their afflicted loved ones returned to the True Kidney of Kidney, the Loyalist Faction will be holding "De-programming Sessions" for the heretic dogs, portestants, and "Sammies" at the next Kingdom event.
Katie McKidney-O'Hair-McKidneygarten-MacAdenoid, Page and Member of Loyalist Faction
From The Page (July, 1979):
March Crown Tournament was held at Lodi Lake Park, Lodi, CA on a peninsula on the lake, surrounded by trees. Morning court was held in excellent weather with Lady Rima of Rockridge sitting with King Steven to represent Her Majesty, Queen Alyanora, who was unable to attend. Presentations were made. Olaf the Maedi-Ogre named his deputy, Robert of the Isles, Acting Constable.
Awards of Arms were given to: Alexandra of Levin, Anthony Ravenscroft and Circilo. Alexandra of Levin, Bolverk of Momchilivich, Edgar the Unread, Eudaimon of Alexandros, Duchess Karen de Wyvern, Kathleen of Kittens, Nicole du Havre des Choette, Richard of Seahaven, Ruth of the Far North, and Sten av Norden were admitted to the Order of the Leaf of Merit. A Grant of Arms was given to Renfield Wanderscribe and Trelon of the Wood was knighted.
At the end of the double-elimination lists, Sir Christopher of Hoghton, Radnor of Guildemar, and Sir Steingrim Stallari had each lost one fight. A round robin was declared but after three fights, each had lost to the next so it had to be done again, but, as it had grown dark, King Steven postponed the finals until the next morning.
Evening court and a bardic revel were held; a large meteor crossed the sky that evening, leaving a green trail behind it.
Sunday morning King Steven held court. There were presentations. The winner of the Wooden Spoon contest for non-yeast breads was announced: Lady Aelfwynn Grydesdottir. King Steven gave Awards of Arms to Aslinn of Brentborough, Brian of Stuarts, Catalin di Napoli, John the Benevloent, Markus of Shasta, Meriweather of the Four Winds, and Richard of Wyvensmark. Alejandrina Rose Amanda y Selena de las Islas Naciementes, Catalin di Napoli, and Dierdriana of the Misty Isles were admitted to the Order of the Leaf of Merit. Belted fighters were called forward and Radnor of Guildemar was knighted.
Sir Steingrim Stallari defeated by Sir Christopher of Hoghton and Sir Radnor of Guildemar, emerging victorious in the finals of the Crown Lists; he announced Rhiannon of the Lost Star as his lady. They were invested as Crown Prince and Princess at the final court.
(This chronicle was written by Wilhelm von Schlüssel)
Sir Steven MacEanruig
"This was my first (and thankfully only) chance to mismanage a crown tournament. While I did some things right, I made my share of mistakes as well.
"Unfortunately, my lady and queen, Alianora ap Vinca, was unable to attend. She's a wonderful lady and long time SCA person but she was never exactly excited about being queen. Living in An Tir, she had not been able to attend the crown I won either. I remember calling her after the event. "Who won?" she said. "I did", I replied. "Oh dear," she replied. I can't blame her since my comment to myself when I killed Sir Kevin Perigrynne in the finals was in a similar vein but less printable. I missed her presence at the next crown, however, and especially her sense of humor.
"For starters I had decided to hold the tourney in single elimination mode. We had been doing double elimination events for several years and, being the traditionalist I am, I didn't want the single elimination type to drop out of existence. That gave this event the minor distinction of being the last single elimination crown to be held in the West. Besides, I figured, it will make the fighting go faster.
"I dealt with some minor problems, discussed some stuff with Manfred, the Prince of An Tir, and then had a bigger mess dumped on me. Two (unnamed) dukes had not been getting along and had, I was told, decided to settle their very real differences on the field. I spent a considerable time going back and forth between them, one of them reasonable and the other somewhat less so, more or less mediating their differences and convincing them that I was absolutely not, under any circumstances, going to allow them their fight.
"And then the fighting got started. If anyone ever tells you that single elimination events go faster do not believe them. And especially, if you end up with three undefeated fighters at the end of the event, do NOT decide on the spur of the moment to hold a round robin.
"We ended up with Viscount Steingrim Stalari, Sir Christopher of Hoghton, and Radnor of Guildamar. We had decided earlier to knight Radnor that day, but it hadn't happened yet. As it turned out Steingrim could defeat Radnor, Radnor could defeat Christopher, and Christopher could defeat Steingrim. And did. At least twice. By then the light was getting dim and Steingrim had a serious night vision problem so I decided to continue the finals the next day, giving us, I think, the only two day crown tourney in Western history.
"We had a brief court and I think that's when I knighted Trelan of the Woods, which was nice.
"The next day I tend to think of as the day of four courts. We had a brief morning court. The finals were continued through at least two more rounds, and Steingrim finally killed Christopher as well, winning the crown. I was quite pleased, since he was the first An Tirian to win the Western crown.
"We had a second court to honor him and his lady and, I think, knight Radnor. And then we had a third one some time after lunch, I don't remember why, although it may have actually been to knight Radnor instead of doing it at the second court. And finally, near the end of the day, some important announcement or other had to be made and we had a fourth (and very brief) court. And all this from someone (me) who tends to dislike courts and avoid them when possible.
"There were some fun moments. At least one of the courts was enlivened for everyone but me when Sir William the Lucky and Sir Maelgwynn de Lyonesse stood behind the thrones making faces at the populace for their amusement. I also enjoyed wearing my cap of maintenance given me by Sir William whenever I wasn't actually on the throne. I think this was also the event at which the Clan Kidney rebellion was put down with Maelgwynn (Stone of Kidney) being brought before me in paper chains for rebelling against the clan chief (on the clan chief's orders). Clan Kidney, however, is a subject for a different paper."
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Description of this event (if any), taken from The Page, or from memory of at least one person who attended the event.
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