From The Page (April, 1978):
The full schedule for the festival will be announced at the site. (As of this writing, after all, we don't even know who the Crown Prince will be!) Setup will begin, as usual, on Friday night.
The following events will occur at some time during the festival:
- ARTS CHAMPIONSHIP COMPETITION -- see Announcements.
- SEVERAL ARCHERY COMPETITIONS -- see Announcements.
- ORDER OF THE WOODEN SPOON COMPETITION -- Onion Anything: soup, pie, bread -- anything at all containing onions as a major ingredient. Recipe must accompany the entry.
- ORDER OF ARACHNE'S WEB COMPETITION -- any kind of lace, but it must have a floral theme.
THOSE BRINGING MOTOR HOMES to the site MUST notify the Constabulary at least one week in advance, to facilitate parking arrangements. Anyone who does not do this runs a chance of not being able to park in the lot adjoining the site! Notification must include the APPROXIMATE DIMENSIONS OF THE VEHICLE, and estimated arrival time. Please forward this information to Sten av Norden, Kingdom Deputy Constable (contact info omitted).
From the History (by Wilhelm):
Held at Big Trees Camp, Redwood Regional Park, Oakland, California. Earl Kevin Peregrynne and Baroness Matriana du Cameliard were the autocrats. First court started at 11:30 am, with the herald reading off the many announcements. Then followed presentations to King Terrence and Queen Allisandra. Duke James Greyhelm announced a wagering contest to be held that day. Maythen of Elfhaven (Maythen Gervaise) told a story of how she had come across a marvelous sword guarded by a Black Knight (Duke Paul of Bellatrix), a Monk (Father Ruthven of Rockridge), and a Fair Lady (Duchess Carol of Bellatrix), who told her that it was time for a knight to win the sword by defeating the Black Knight in a contest of arms, and defeating the Monk in a contest of wits, and winning the heart of the Fair Lady by virtue of his chivalry. Maythen then identified Duke Aonghais dubh MacTarbh as the chosen knight. (Duke Aonghais had commissioned Sean a’Claideamh to make the sword and they thought it would be fun to make him earn it.)
Lady Cliveden d’Chieux brought forth the newest member of the kingdom, her daughter Ealasaid, to be blessed by the King. The College of St. David gave each of Their Majesties an etched crystal wine goblet. Ealisaid NicChlurain gave a buckle to the King with his mundane name on it, and a pretty wooden box to the Queen. Llerrett de Granada and Dierdrianna of the Misty Isles gave a photograph of His Majesty to King Terrence, and a pen made from an arrow to the Queen. Kate the Curious and Lord Robert of the Isles gave a bottle of wine, followed by Duke James Greyhelm who gave His Majesty a spear head. Duchess Verena of Laurelin gave a rose to Her Majesty and a strawberry plant to His Majesty, in token of their soon to be status as Countess and Duke. The Shire of Westermark brought forth a petition for Shire status, which was granted. Master Alewäulfe the Red gave Their Majesties the napkins embroidered with their arms, which he had promised at Twelfth Night. Darachshire presented a pair of goblets. Mistress Louise of Woodsholme gave Her Majesty a pendant. Mistress Bjo of Griffin (Flavia Beatrice Carmigniani) gave Her Majesty some garnet buttons. And Baroness Matriana du Cameliard gave each of Their Majesties a packet of Pop Rocks. Scrolls were then handed out.
King Terrence gave Awards of Arms to Aster of Caer-Myrddin, Caitlin de Wyndmere, Ellen Winterbourne, Lawrence of Warenné, and Leonna del Belle Fleures. The Order of the Pelican was called forward, and Duke James Greyhelm and Duchess Verena of Laurelin were admitted. Then the Order of the Laurel was called up and Lady Joan of Crawfordsmuir was admitted. King Terrence then called forward all belted fighters and knighted Edward of Southhaven. Queen Allissandra admitted Duke James Greyhelm and Karl of Clan Colin to the Queen’s Order of Grace, and presented her Queen’s Cypher to Lady Fiona Gregorovna (Natalya de Foix), Lady Josette du Chanticleer, Lady Ursaline de Grinan-Barrett, and then to King Terrence, saying “I couldn’t have done it without you!” Queen Allissandra called up the Queen’s Guard and the Queen’s Archers and thanked them for their service, and released them from their oaths of fealty.
Then there was a break followed by the Grand March announced by Baron John ap Griffin, followed by the coronation of Gregory of York and Bevin Fraser of Sterling as King and Queen of the West, the first and last Caidans to be so crowned. The various oaths of fealty were exchanged and King Gregory and Queen Bevin began their first court.
Duke Terrence of Halliday and Countess Allissandra Olympia Martiessa de Constantine came forward to be invested with their titles. Then Queen Bevin reinstated the Queen’s Guard and the Queen’s Archers, admitted Jason Griffith of Shadowhyrst, Lasarian of Twrynyswr, and Lorenzo di Sant’Angelo as new members to the Guard and Robear du Bois and Sine Singing Hands as new members to the Archers. Sweyn MacChlurain was made Captain of the Queen’s Guard until the Caid Coronation on June 3, when he and the new members from Caid would form the Queen’s Guard and Queen’s Archers for Caid. Then King Gregory gave Awards of Arms to Ann Elizabeth of Westmarch, Herman de Medici, and Tristan de Montespore. He admitted Duke Aonghais dubh MacTarbh and Eowyn Amberdrake to the Order of the Leaf of Merit. The Order of the Pelican was called up and Duke Henrik of Havn was admitted. Clan Colin was called up and Queen Bevin paid them the piper’s fee. Duke William of Houghton was called up and presented by his family with a pair of knight’s spurs. Then the presentations from the populace began.
Maythen of Elfhaven (Maythen Gervaise) brought a gift from the Shire of Seagirt. The Canton of Windy Meads presented Their Majesties with their arms done in marzipan. Lord Gwydioan am y’Gorlwyn and Lady Anna McAyre of Gorabh brought a bottle of wine and a bottle of pinch. Llerrett de Grenada and Dierdrianna of the Misty Isles gave a scotch cake to His Majesty and an arrow pen to Her Majesty. Lorenzo di Sant’Angelo, squire to King Gregory, presented the King with a book on armor, and the Queen with a book on cooking. Kate the Curious gave Her Majesty a pair of gloves. James the Fisher presented Their Majesties with a freshly caught uncooked four pound fish. The Barony of Angels presented the traditional gold, frankincense and myrrh. Lyrel-Philippa of Essex gave a loaf of pumpkin bread. Jared Blaydeaux gave His Majesty an empty platter to be filled that evening with as many crepes as His Majesty could eat. Lady Eyana bat-David gave His Majesty a chocolate liquor cake with rum icing. House von Regensburg presented some pretty fabric. Jehansuh gave some jewelry. Giraldus Dragonsclaw presented a bottle of wine to His Majesty and a box to her Majesty. Lady Giesele-Hildegaard of the Mystic Dragon presented roses to Her Majesty. Other presentations came from Darachshire, Herman de Medici, Griffin Freehold, and Lasarian of Twrynyswr. A letter from Paul of Hameldone, Western Ambassador to the East was read, wherein he pledged his fealty. Lord Samuel de Basset sponsored a contest for a poem in honor of Queen Bevin, to be judged by Queen Bevin, with the prize a helm. The Order of Arachne’s Web gave a silver spider to Deporodh of Rannoch and announced that Mistress Louise of Woodsholme was founding a branch in Caid. Master Cadwalladyr Stone of Stonecroft announced his resignation in June of the office of Seneschal and designated Baroness Matriana du Cameliard as his replacement. Then court ended and the Queen’s Favor Lists and the Art’s Championship got undeway.
Arts contests were held all day Saturday and on Sunday as well. The winners were to be announced at June Crown. The winner of the Queen’s Favor Lists was Duke Paul of Bellatrix. There was a Wooden Spoon Contest for Onion Anything. King Gregory and Queen Bevin had a stack of questionnaires on the Principality of the Mists placed at the Lists table, and over a hundred were filled out. A Court of Chivalry was held after dinner at the Bardic Circle, considering whether one’s activities in one’s mundane life outside the SCA should effect one’s standing in the SCA. The consensus was that it shouldn’t. Then the bards took over the bardic circle.
The next morning King Gregory and Queen Bevin held morning court. Tristan de Montesporre and Lorriana du Bonne Ventura presented Their Majesties with wine and two Caid sweatshirts, bearing the arms of Caid. Mistress Rima of Rockridge read a parable, and Gwendwyn the Silent was invested as Mistress of the Lists. Stephen of the Yews was the winner of the wagering contest. King Gregory gave Awards of Arms to Æthelred the Jute and Jehansuh. Then he knighted Marshall of Eaglesbane. Jason Griffiths of Shadowhyrst got the Tacky Hanky from Countess Patrice du Couer Fidel for the best death that day, and the Old Battered Helm went to Duke James Greyhelm. Wilowen of Stuarts received the Old Moldy Fossil, a deer’s skull, for the best action after death by a body. Shirin of the Moors won the Wooden Spoon contest. Alfric Favnesbane was admitted to the Queen’s Guard, and Queen Bevin gave her favor to Duke Paul of Bellatrix. Lord Rodrigo de Cerdaña announced the winner of his game board contest to be Charles Smokeeater, for his beautiful chess board set, which Yolanda del Campo de Cerdaña had bought for Rodrigo and then presented to him. Rodrigo presented the second place entry from Baron Gerhard Kendal of Westmoreland to King Gregory as Baron Gerhard’s gift. King Gregory decreed that puns at court were forbidden and carried a 25¢ fine, to be levied by the Constables. The edict was promptly violated repeatedly. Lady Debreczeni Ilona announced the beginning of a Principality of the Mists Newsletter. Duke Aonghais dubh MacTarbh announced his upcoming wedding to Lady Mary Taran of Glastonbury at the Pentacost Feast in Caid.
Then court broke and the archers began to shoot. A melee was held to determine the new Protector of the Royal Wards, and Markus of Shasta won to become the new Wardlord. Duke Aonghais dubh MacTarbh succeeded in his three tasks and received his new sword. It began to rain and the tourney closed up early. A revel was held that evening in the home of Duke Siegfried von Hoflichskeit.
See photos from this event
Gregory of York
Argent, a falcon striking, wings
displayed proper, on a chief azure
three roses argent, each charged
with a rose Or, fimbriated sable,
all barbed and seeded proper.
Bevin Fraser of Sterling
Vert, three fraises Or, pierced vert,
on a chief Or a rose gules barbed
and seeded proper.
“Ah yes, Beltane Coronation A.S. XII, when my friend Dave (SCA name forgotten at this point) debuted his standard garb at a Kingdom event, making folks nervous ...
“You see, Dave is legally blind, and 6'4". His garb in those days was a headsman's outfit, consisting of a gigantic ax (which he used to check the ground ahead of him), a tunic, and a black hood with no eyeholes. For some silly reason, given this garb and his size, there was always strange squealing from the ladies in areas where he was walking ...” – Jilara of Carrowlea
[The Shire of Westermark brought forth a petition for Shire status,
which was granted.] “Wasn't that the San Mateo peninsula? If so,
the shire's collective persona were landsknechts with excessively long,
German names and lots of puff and slash costumes. Roger Bergen and Tom
Willey were two of them, but I can't remember the rest.
[The various oaths of fealty were exchanged and King Gregory and Queen Bevin began their first court.] “From my footage of that Grand March and coronation, I can tell you that Henrik rode on horseback ("Sugar" who he trained for tilting and tolerating an armored rider) up to the thrones, dipping his pennoned lance in salute and then marching a second time with the Silver Mullets (multiple trips through Grand Marches were common enough, depending on how many awards/offices you held or households you were affiliated with). Aside from the usual appearances of the peerage, some of the other notables presenting themselves at court were the College of Sciences, Arts, the Constables, the Mistress of Games and Jollities (Peggy and her charges), and a horde of celtic types.
“Absent from the description of court events was the musical composition that was performed for their new majesties. People that I recognize included (and I'll mix SCA and mundane names here and probably misspell most of them) Karen de Wyvern, Aurelia de LaLicorne, Shelley Monson, Simon Spaulding (playing the violin), and Michael Siemon (can't do his last name here, but he would jokingly call himself Michael Siemon Vinegaroil). I believe it was Michael who wrote the piece and coordinated the music and singers.” – Brian Dritar an Con
“Organized and played-in-the-band, yes. But I'm sure it must have been Simon Spaulding who wrote the piece. (Some years earlier, I wrote a motet for the 3rd? coronation of Paul of Bellatrix, and a reign or so later a chanson for James & Verena, but that just about exhausted my melodic creativity. -)) I am astonished that you get my _mundane_ surname right. For SCA purposes I discarded the intrusive 'e' that my great^2 Grossvater inserted on immigration (in order to "make" the stupid Americans pronounce it correctly; misguided man...) That 'e' has caused all sorts of silly problems subsequently (including the cousins who seem to think that we are French! -)) "Vinegaroil" is a fair enough rendering of the Sachsen-Anhalt town the family is from (and hence my SCA titulature) von Wernigerode” – Johann Heinrich Michael Simon von Wernigerode[The edict was promptly violated repeatedly.] “This backfired on Gregory big time. Most of us believe that Gregory really thought this would help curtail the rampant "punnery" with this fine, which was instantly referred to as a PUNishment, and a PUNtax, The effect of course was quite the opposite. It even moved previous non-offenders to PUNtification. Princess Neptha of Thebes, who had never oPUNly admitted to being a closet punster, came to the very next court with her roll of quarters and reeled off a speech which had Gregory groaning in agony. She continued to torment him (and only him) through his reign.” – Martin the Temperate
“It also brought on one of the great adventures of Clan Kidney. (Clan Kidney ought to find a place in these pages, anyway -- remember how it took the kingdom by storm?)
“Everybody in the clan had an anatomical name -- in keeping with the name of the clan, which Robbie Kinslayer had coined in a fit of irritation with the Scottishoidness of Clan Colin, one of the notable groupings of the time, on the premise that "everybody knows the Kidney is above the Colon" -- Sir Loren sur la Roche was Sir Lawrence O'Liver, Lucky and MacEanruig were the McAdenoids, and so on and on from there. I was one of the sisters O'Hair. Anyway, we -- numbering the better part of a hundred strong, if memory doesn't exaggerate too much -- assembled a mighty presentation of quarters... quarter coins, quarter bananas, quarter oranges, you name it... all heaped together on a platter. We processed into court, plopped down the platter saying we intended to take care of our taxes all at once, and proceeded to have the herald announce us each and all by clan name, one by one.
“Surely there are more Kidney tales out there. Remember the Right Kidney and the One Who Left?” – Hilary of Serendip“Among the numerous obnoxious features of Clan Kidney was our habit of selecting tartans (different for each sept of the Clan, of course) which were as garish and obnoxious as possible. (Unlike most of Clan Colin, we were aware that the assignment of specific patterns to particular clans was an artifact of Victorian weaving companies, rather than something which had been thought of in period.) Some were truly horrible, and the assembled members of the Clan were a sight to appall any and all pseudo-Scot.
“The McAdenoids were particularly obnoxious, having not only a hunting McAdenoid pattern (bright orange, black, and white, which no animal could miss), dress McAdenoid (actually a perfectly nice collection of patterns printed in a patchwork), but also Royal McAdenioda very staid blue and white pattern – except it came on fake fur! We had caps of maintenance made of it.” – William the LuckyHow did the McAdenoids and Clan McCreekie (reference: The Goon Show) manage to not meet on the field sometime? Our dress plaid was a checkerboard of various plaids, every other one with a black silhouette of a knight on horseback -- Conrad once threw us off the field when we tried to enter our banner in a Caidan Order of Precedence (an act of good taste that brought him a round of applause). Not being fighters, we McCreekies didn't have a hunting tartan, though we should have used the shocking pink, lime green, turquoise blue and Germana brown mustard yellow plaid I passed up for the design mentioned above.” – Flavia Beatrice CarmignianiThis came in an email on October 28th, 2006:
"I wonder if Hilary would like to read the “True and Official Origin of Clan Kidney” as told by one who was there at its conception.
I believe this was Beltane, but do not quote me on this. It could easily have been June Crown.
There were 4 of us that day: Robert Kinslayer, Ffellyndrake the Blind, Maelgwyn de Lyonesse, and myself Aarond the Gray.
Robbie had endured a small altercation with one of the Clan Colin toadies earlier that day. Nothing serious mind you, just a silly comment, but it did set Robbie’s tone for the rest of the day. He truly (as did the other three of us) disliked Clan Colin.
Colin of Colin had always disliked Robbie because he felt everyone in the SCA who wore a kilt should be in Clan Colin and pay him the proper homage. In fact, that’s what the altercation was about.
Robbie didn’t bow to Colin when we passed by his pavilion that afternoon.
Anyways, Robbie and I were known to drink alcohol on occasion. This was one of those occasions. Thankfully we had Maelgwyn and Ffellyndrake (two relative teetotalers) with us to balance out our foursome. So instead of gathering our forces and raiding the Clan Colin encampment, we decided the more prudent thing to do was to lay about on the rise just behind the Clan Colin tent, drink beer and scotch all afternoon, and loudly tell the most insulting Clan Colin anecdotes we could remember, as loudly as we possibly could.
As the Coors cans piled up, and the bottle of scotch became lighter and lighter, that’s precisely what we did. Of course we mispronounced Colin to mean colon as often as we could remember to do it.
Sometime during the day Robbie told us a story of how a junior high teacher had taken delight in teasing him about his name by calling him McKidney instead of McKenzie. At that moment an alcohol induced burst of inspiration hit me and I blurted out, "McKenzie? ... McKidney? ... Colin? ... Colon? ... Colin of Colin? ... Colon of Colon? ... Kidney of Kidney!"
The four of us had a great laugh about this and Maelgwyn, Ffellyndrake, and I stood and bowed to the newly titled, Robert McKidney, Kidney of Kidney ... the One True Three-Feathered Chieftain of Clan Kidney!
Robert leapt (slowly stood?) to his feet, pulled out that massive dirk he carried, whacked each of us on the head twice (really hard I must add), and proclaimed us to be the “the Three and Three Only, Two-Feathered Chiefs of Clan Kidney. During the next few cans of Coors and slugs out of the scotch bottle we had laid out the by-laws of the clan.
Honestly good people ...
- Once a Kidney ... Always a Kidney!
- The official tartan of Clan Kidney would be “Tacky-Tartan”.
- All subsequent male members would be One-Feathered Chiefs.
- We figured since we thought it up, we should retain our advantage in the clan hierarchy.
- All One-Feathered Chiefs had to endure a solid “whack” from that massive dirk as their initiation ritual.
- Some time later, Robbie actually cold-cocked someone with that thing.
- Sadly, I do not remember who that person was,,,
- We made him the “One and One Only, One and a Half-Feathered Chief” in the Clan.
- All One-Feathered Chiefs must have an anatomical name.
- I chose Aarond McGroin.
- Sadly, I do not remember what Maelgwyn and Ffellyndrake chose.
- Forgive me old friends ...
- The first One-Feathered Chief was very soon that evening.
- Baron Sir Kevin Peregrine happened to walk by and we ambushed him ...
- He was soundly whacked and became Kevin Pancreas.
- All female members of Clan Kidney would be “Katies”
- All female members of Clan Kidney would receive one “lengthy and sloppy kiss” as their initiation ritual.
- We were somewhat angry when Robbie took Three-Feathered Prerogative and declared ... “I and only I can create new Katies!”
- We took solace in the fact that we could “congratulate” them as much as they would allow.
- Baroness Patrice di Couer Fidel became the first Katie ... Katie McLOUD.
- Duchess Patrice D’cilla became the second Katie ... Katie O’Hair.
- Karen, Duchess D’wyvern (sp?), who had the longest hair I had ever seen, later became the Matriarch of the O’Hairs.
Clan Kidney was spontaneously created from an afternoon of drunken revelry ... There was no “Master Plan” to embarrass Clan Colin past the jibes we threw at his tent that afternoon.
But by the tourneys end there were over 100 whacked heads and many many sloppily kissed Katies ... We actually kept count for a while but the list got too long to maintain. Besides, we thought this would die off in a tourney or two.
It turned out however, everyone wanted in on this thing.
At Greg and Bevin’s coronation that year the Clan Kidney entourage was larger than any other.
One newly made chief, having no tacky-tartan, turned his sleeping bag inside out, and hopped through Grand March. He was forever known as McBag.
I hope you enjoy this story ... It is an absolutely truthful recounting of a hilarious afternoon between four good friends." -- Aarond the Grey
"I only took Katie McLoud because Yolanda del Campo had taken Katie McMouth. <huge grin>" -- Patrice du Coeur Fidel"Well, I will be dipped in single-malt !!
The way the four of them acted when they ambushed me (that damn' dirk was heavy and downright shocking when you weren't expecting to be whacked) I had the impression that the clan had been extant for a considerable period of time (weeks or months, not one sodden afternoon).
I also had the distinct impression that their motivation for singling me out that evening is that I was likely to possess or know the where-abouts of a supply of unconsumed scotch.
Of course they had to make Patrice the first Katie ... after ambushing and apparently assaulting me (in her presence!!!) - they needed to do something to redirect her wrath and preserve their worthless inebriated skins.
I chose 'Pancreas' for my Clan organ(ization) name because of my proclivity for hypoglycemia.
Though I always have gotten along with Colin of Colin personally, some of his clans people were rather annoying to other SCAers who had Scottish personas or actual ancestry (in my case both - Kevin Perigrynne is of Norman/Scots descent and Phil McDown is a descendant of the MacDonalds of Keppoch).
On another note entirely - it's great to hear from Aarond again (I had heard that he's teaching back in Oaklahoma), perhaps he can be persuaded to provide his original music for Kevin Pigeon's-Bane.
Kevin Pancreas of Clan Kidney
Mistake Not the Peregrine for a Pigeon
[A Court of Chivalry was held after dinner at the Bardic Circle, considering whether one’s activities in one’s mundane life outside the SCA should effect one’s standing in the SCA. The consensus was that it shouldn’t.] “That was sort of the last gasp of the whole Terrance of Halliday thing. As I recall, it was not a Court of Chivalry but an inquiry by the then marshal, William of Hoghton, working from the directions of the previous king, Paul. Everyone pretty much wanted Terry gone (and he never was in much evidence again). There wasn't much push, however, for any sort of retroactive action against him.” – Steven MacEanruig
Description of this event,
© Copyright 1980 by William R. Keyes (Wilhelm von Schlüssel)
This is from The History of the West Kingdom, Volume 1 (the only volume produced). When reading this text, please keep in mind the following disclaimer:
Disclaimer: This history may have errors in it, as much of the detail is “remembered” history, or as one of the cover pages of the original type-written manuscript states “The material within is derived from the information printed in The Crown Prints and in The Page, and from the memories of the participants.” The original document was typed on onion-skin paper, with hand-written notes (often in the margins). All attempts have been made to reconcile the notes with the original document.
Annotations, when they are added, are from The Annotated History of the West, Volume 1, which is the same text as Master Wilhelm's mentioned above, with commentary from members of the SCA who were active at the time of the event, and are added to help clarify questions and expand on what happened and why. This volume is copyright © Ken Mayer (Hirsch von Henford).
The West Kingdom History Website was created by and is maintained by Hirsch von Henford (mka Ken Mayer).