Kingdom Arms by Robin of Thornwood Calligraphy by Robin of Thornwood Populous Badge by Robin of Thornwood

The Tenth Year

Insulter’s Guild Tourney -- Barony of the Angels
March 27, 1976

Held in Arroyo Seco Park, Pasadena, CA. A Grand March was held, followed by the lists in full armor with daggers. There were blindfolded boffer lists for ladies. The contests were: Pick on Martin (Ladies only), both individual and teams (Sponsored by Sir Martin the Temperate), Heraldry - Design a coat of arms for Hagar the Horrible, A Seam-Ripping-Out contest, Bread-Eating (speed, not amount), Most Gloating Victory, Illumination and Calligraphy done at the event with crayons, and Caricatures in Bread or Cookie Dough.

“Patrice, Kelly (at 8 months) and I drove down for this event because it sounded like lots of goofy fun (it was). Other events in addition to the above were Illumination - Draw a 'Nigh' and Costume - Highest decollatage (Patti resoundingly 'lost' this last (she was feeding Kelly when the measurement was taken) thus winning the prize, a blue silk belly dancer's veil.
     “If memory holds, the gang went to a nearby Bavarian restaurant for dinner and it was during the process of converging on the restaurant from our scattered parking spots that another of the contributing events to the legend of the "That be a broadsword laddie...THIS! be a flippin' dirk" episode.” – Kevin Peregrynne

“When I first suggested that the Insulter's Guild hold a Tournament, I had no idea it might someday end up listed alongside Crown Tourneys, Coronations and Wars. I suppose the silly things are sometimes just as important to remember as the serious things. After all, we are doing this to have fun (aren't we?).
     “I was the autocrat at all the Insulter's Guild Tourneys, because I was the Muckety-Muck Extrodinaire. Kathe von Munchausen held the senior position of Grand High Poo-Bah, and provided leadership and inspiration. We were gratified at the enthusiastic response to the idea, and amazed at the perverse sense of humor that we found lurking just below the thin veneer of civilization.
     “Kevin Peregrynne attended this event, but I don't recall Patrice being with him. I think he was in L.A. on business and stayed over an extra day (I sure hope he didn't drive down for a weird event like this). We weren't quite sure how to do the lists, and Kevin suggested fighting with double daggers. This turned out to be similar to wrestling, and Kevin was the winner. I don't recall the ladies fighting blindfolded, but remember making two small fiberboard kite shields for their use. They were blazoned gules, a sissors per saltire argent, and sable, three rolling pins per fess argent. I think Amsha al Sirhan won the ladies lists.
     “The most challenging contest was sponsored by Lady Quiauhxochitl. She did a guess how many beans are in the jar contest, with refried beans that she had counted prior to cooking. The winner was the person who made the highest guess, which was only about 1/3 the total number. Kevin won the arms for Hagar the Horrible contest with a submittal that showed a flower being planted with a hammer. At closing court John ap Griffin was given a special herald's staff with rubber duckie and a horn to honk, and Charles of Dublin was given an out-of-date copy of the vehicle code in recognition of his distinctive style of driving.” – Robear du Bois

Description of this event, © Copyright 1980 by William R. Keyes (Wilhelm von Schlüssel)
This is from The History of the West Kingdom, Volume 1 (the only volume produced). When reading this text, please keep in mind the following disclaimer:

Disclaimer: This history may have errors in it, as much of the detail is “remembered” history, or as one of the cover pages of the original type-written manuscript states “The material within is derived from the information printed in The Crown Prints and in The Page, and from the memories of the participants.” The original document was typed on onion-skin paper, with hand-written notes (often in the margins). All attempts have been made to reconcile the notes with the original document.

Annotations, when they are added, are from The Annotated History of the West, Volume 1, which is the same text as Master Wilhelm's mentioned above, with commentary from members of the SCA who were active at the time of the event, and are added to help clarify questions and expand on what happened and why. This volume is copyright © Ken Mayer (Hirsch von Henford).

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The West Kingdom History Website was created by and is maintained by Hirsch von Henford (mka Ken Mayer).