The legend of Colin the Dude is believed to date from the earliest days of the Society. The following history is based on a manuscript found in the archives of the Sons of Iniquity, although even the Sons are unsure of the history of this manuscript. Their best guess is that it was captured from the Caidians during one of the innumerable West - Caid wars fought since the realized days of the two kingdoms. Stylistically, the manuscript indicates that it was written before A.S. V and give the impression that the writer was an eyewitness to the events recorded, perhaps as a follower of The Dude. Therefore, for everyone's education and entertainment is the legend of Colin the Dude.
Colin the Dude was a knight, philosopher, and surfer from the earliest days of the Society. Scholars believe that he was born approximately 20 years B.S. and was thus reaching his prime at the birth of the Society. It is likely that in these early years he developed his love for, and skill in, surfing that was to be both the source of his greatest fame and eventual martyrdom. Shortly after joining the Society, Colin became known for his skill at arms, chivalry and philosophical bent. He quickly became the leader of the surfing knights of the kingdom, and set the standard in fashion for this group hair jams, colorful Byzantium tunics, lace up sandals and a large redwood board for both fighting and surfing. It is unlikely that without the Great Schism, however, that he would have ever been anything except for a minor footnote in history.
When the Great Schism occurred that separated Caid, with their unusual habits and beliefs, from the true believers of the West, Colin the Dude found his natural calling. He believed that he could take his skill with board and chivalry and attempt to convert the Caidians to the right and noble way of thinking. Thus Colin loaded up his gear in an old Woody Wagon and began his long trek to the South.
Colin quickly established a routine for his talks in Caid. He would show up at one of the numerous surfing and fighting practices that were taking place throughout Caid and establish his presence through his outstanding skill on he board and with sword and board. After this time, he would gather the fighters around the campfire and regale them with stories of chivalry and courtesy, the legendary 'Colin Chiv Wanks.' In this manner his fame spread and frequently his arrival at a surfing and fighting practice became greatly anticipated, with the fighters of Caid waiting, as is the tendency of their ilk, with their single large foot over their heads, shielding them from the sun.
After an extended stay in Caid, Colin returned to the West and attempted to make peace between the warring factions of the Mists/Cynaguan War. It was at this event that the first miracle of The Dude is believed to have occurred. While at Lake Berryessa, Colin and a group of his surfing buddies wished to surf, but being a lake it was as flat as a mirror. Shortly after Colin paddled out into the lake however, waves began to form that enabled all who wished to surf to do so to their hearts content. This incredible display was enough to bring the war to an end with just a brief speech about the importance of Western unity in the face of Caidian and An Tirian aggression. Soon after this speech, Colin headed back south and was never seen alive in the West again.
Shortly after heading south for this final time, word began to filter back to the West of a second miracle. It seems that Colin was at a surfing and fighter practice when it was discovered that no one had brought wax for the boards. Colin is rumored to have solved this problem by scraping the wax from one of his ears. This wax, in conflict with all known principles, was sufficient to wax everyone's boards and allow a day of surfing and fighting.
Deeds like this and his Chiv Wanks, although greatly loved by the common fighter, roused the ire of the large and powerful Anti-Chivalry League of Caid. They decided that they would have to eliminate the Dude before all of Caid became Chivalrous and Courteous. This led to the Shooting of the Pylons, known in song and story throughout the Known World. The Caidians challenged Colin to a surfing and fighting contest to determine who was the true and right defender of Chivalry. Unknown to Colin, however, they were attempting a trap, in which the fighting would be first. They used one of their most powerful and unchivalrous Dukes to fight and then they would substitute a second Duke for the surfing contest. As soon as Colin saw this arrangement, he knew that he was doomed, but in the best Western tradition, he would give it his best shot and let fate determine the outcome.
The fighting opened up, and against all odds, Colin triumphed in this phase, but he was so exhausted that he knew that he would never succeed in shooting the pier, particularly as the surf was at near record levels, with waves approaching four feet. There was no hesitation in Colin however, as he grabbed his board and paddled out into the Great Western Ocean. The Caidian Duke went first, and in spite of being fresh, he failed to shoot the pier, pulling up after just a couple of pilings. Colin had his chance, but instead of playing it safe, Colin went for it as only a Western Knight could. This, unfortunately, proved his undoing, as well into the pier, after reaching unheard of speeds and performing never before seen stunts, Colin was martyred on the piling. The Anti-Chivalry League of Caid was pleased to have eliminated such a threat, but even they realized that it was a hollow victory, for in defeat, Colin had shown all present what a true Knight stood for. Therefore, it is not suprising that Cults of Colin the Dude began to spring up wherever any fighter put on the armor or the jams and wish to understand the true meaning of Chivalry.
To this day, pieces of the true piling can be purchased at most major events, and Baron Tristan believes that one of the pillars at his great hall, Phoenix Hall, is from the actual pier that saw the martyrdom of Colin the Dude.
|Rendering of St. Colin, the Dude, by
the rest of the artwork is by Katherine Goodpasture.
Donated by Katherine Goodpasture.
The West Kingdom History Website was created by and is maintained by Hirsch von Henford (mka Ken Mayer).