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Bardic Arts

Holmgang in Skaugnir
Torvald Torgarson
June 23, 2002 (AS XXXVII)

Things were none too quiet up in Skaugnir that fine day
The holmgang there was in full swing, who'd win no one could say
Beorn he was the favorite, of that there was no doubt
But Sven he was no panzy, and no one counted Harold out

Sven stepped out into the square, his ax held in his hand
Many holmgang he had won, while Viking from his land
But Beorn he didn't flinch, or even break a sweat
And when poor Sven went sailing by, I was glad I hadn't bet

Hakon nest stepped on the cloth, t'was hazeled as it should
Nine ells the square as custom called, we set it up quite good
Then Beorn he only smiled, and got ready to play
And Hakon soon remembered something else to do that day

Harold next picked up his spear, and gripped its oak shaft tight
He set himself up carefully, and kept Beorn in sight
But when the battle started, all his resolve was in vain
For soon he too had left the square, his face was full of pain

So now at last Bjarki came, his sword and shield held high
He looked across the hazeled square and stared in Beorn's eye
But Beorn just winked at him, and grinned in berzerk glee
It would have chilled the blood of many other men like me

Bjarki only glared right back and waited for the call
Bets were flying fast and sure Bjarki soon would fall
And when the battle started most of us would be amazed
For after both had lost a shield Bjarki was not fazed

And when the next shield was disposed, Bjarki still stood strong
Beorn was trying hard to figure out what had gone wrong
But when he gripped that final shield he made a silent vow
That Bjarki now would lose, he didn't care just how

The sound of battle rang out loud throughout the country side
It rattled all the doors in town and traveled far and wide
But at the end when all was done the village raised a shout
Their was no bloddy winner here for BOTH had been knocked out!

"This piece was inspired by the poem Casey at the Bat, and is written in parody of it. Permission is given to distribute freely so long as credit is given to the author." -- Torvald Torgarsson

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