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Bardic Arts

The Fields of Agincourt

(or, One War Point to the Archers!)
Siegfried von Hoflichskeit
To the tune of: The Battle of New Orleans, Johnny Horton

In Fourteen Fifteen we took a little trip,
Across the English Channel in a mighty leaky ship,
The fighters of Allyshia went, the archers went as well,
And we all set sail to Normandy to give the Frenchies hell!

We finally set foot on land at Harfleur-by-the-Sea,
And we sank our trusty ship before we entered Normandy.
We marched a lot in circles, but we finally found our way,
And we joined up with King Harry on the Eve of Crispin's Day.

    We fired our bows and the Frenchies kept a'comin'
    But there wasn't nigh as many as there was a while before.
    We fired once more and they began to runnin',
    King Harry won the vict'ry on the Field of Agincourt!

When King Charles heard the odds were only three to one his way,
He said "I think we'll wait and try to fight another day."
But Harry said, "we'll make 'em fight, we'll cut off their supplies,
"We'll summon up Allyshia and we'll drink their army dry!"


We fired our ballistas till the torsions broke in two,
Then we grabbed a couple Frenchies and said "This'll never do!"
We tied their ears together and we used them like a sling,
And threw boulders and dead horses at the Frenchies and their King.


Sir Elriin searched for battle on the tourney field that day,
But none would try his mettle, for the Frenchies ran away.
He was feeling pretty cocky, 'til a French knight turned to say,
"My Lord, your armor's odour kept you safe from harm this day!"


Now when the fight was over, and King Harry'd won the war,
We taught the Brits to party, and we scared the Frenchies more!
We all did deeds of valour, and did other things as well,
That none but an Allyshian does without the fear of hell!


We all returned from battle with our booty and our pay,
But the stories never mention that Allyshia won the day.
The archers taught a lesson that the Frenchies learned to dread,
When King Harry won the vict'ry -- and King Charles lost his head!



Copyright ©1992, David C. Thewlis

"... was written ... at the request of the Baron of Allyshia on rather short notice (requested at the start of a revel to be performed prior to the end of the revel -- and I was still supposed to enjoy myself)." -- Siegfried von Hoflichskeit

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