The History of the Kingdom of The West
Bardic Arts

The Mists are going to war; as long as it’s not too far away
The Mists are going to war, but only for a day

When dreadful Swan meet the Mists their soldiers will all be killed
Their women will shed not one tear for they’re all unfulfilled
When we go to fight the Swan it’s always too damn hot
So instead of packing up our gear we’ll send ‘em Geoffrey Scott

For pikes we’ve got Lord Nathair whose aim is without fail
He’ll thrash them and he’ll bash them and then drink up all their ale
How bout John Theophilus the dancing teddy bear
Me make fun of him you say? No way I wouldn’t dare

The Mists are going to war; as long as it’s not too far away
The Mists are going to war, but only for a day

We don’t don our armor in the heat just because
It’s mostly to come out with stories that start “No shit there I was”
When our forces take the field their hearts all full of glee
They may not scare the enemy but they sure as hell scare me

We’ve got Flieg a triple peer, our oldest dinosaur
He’s fought a thousand battles and we’re sure he’s got one more
Mari, Brion, Hans and Beck, for fashion they are the height
Inspect their weapons if you like, their pants are always tight

The Mists are going to war; as long as it’s not too far away
The Mists are going to war, but only for a day

Sure our Prince is valorous and full of righteous might
But when you meet our Princess she’ll give you a hell of a fight
The Prince will be drinking beer all safe inside the fort
While his lovely Princess calls in for air support

The Mists are going to war, as long as it’s not too far away
The Mists are going to war, but only for a day

Written for the Bard of the Mists Competition, September, AS XXXVII (2002).

The West Kingdom History Website was created by and is maintained by Hirsch von Henford (mka Ken Mayer).