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Bardic Arts

An Archer's Tale

Colin MacLear
Mists Spring Investiture, May, AS XXXVI (2001)

To the Tune of "The Man Who Never Returned"

Gather round and hear my story, its about a yeoman bowman
Marching off for his kingdom’s war
Pair of quivers full of arrows
And the enemy he’d harrow
Drop their pikemen by the score
And could they ever get hurt?
Well, they just might get hurt,
If them arrows bounced real queer
So he’d keep his range extended
So them folks would be defended
In their regular fighting gear.
Well then some oligarchs and bureaucrats, in Milpitation fashion,
Got some wind of that tale ‘n you bet
That there was talk of liability,
Some folks lost their civility
And raced to remove the threat
“Well, could they ever get hurt?”
“Yah, they sure could get hurt
Let’s not be misunderstood
Go pad your tips and nocks and fletchin’,
We don’t want to hear no kvetchin’
This is done for your own good”
Come to think, now while we’re at it, there’s a rule or two needs tunin’
Cause our safety standard’s weak
Them rattan swords can leave big bruises
And there’s armor that contuses
And those shields can make joints creak
“Well, will they ever get hurt?”
“Nah, they’ll never get hurt
It’ll be like God’s own law
We know what’s best for every Kingdom
And our praises they’ll be singin’
from the West to Atlantia”
Well them rules got implemented, not a Kingdom has dissented
None would dare to cross the Board
But our archer’s doing fine now
Sits a throne and sips his wine now
Won his Crown with a boffer greatsword
Yes, our archer’s doing fine now
Sits a throne and sips his wine now
Won his Crown with a boffer greatsword.

This is from Colin's CD and accompanying booklet "Bardic Fire", which contains pieces that Colin created and performed during his tenure as Bard of the West.

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