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Bardic Arts

Fighter Speak

Alys Sheffield
September, 2009/2010 (A.S. XLIV/XLV)

Hearken to this tale of woe,
of an innocent bystander ... me!
I came to sing for my Princess
while the Prince was off fighting with glee
Along came this war horse, a master at arms
Master Korwyn Marius Velis ... Ariannod,
I think, well there might be yet more
He's from Atenveldt way, don't you see

     Don't walk near a fighter - they talk with their hands
     It's a dialect often called 'stick'
     If you're not wearing armor, or holding a shield
     When they gesture, you'd better duck quick

He mimed his shot, and then he struck
Like a corbie he went for the eyes
Fighters love to show their scars,
But from me all he heard were loud sighs.
With this backhanded compliment, I learned his name
Though at least he did apologize
There I stood with a pilchard held fast to my face...
While the room echoed loudly with cries.


The seasons turn, and time moves on
though that feast none will ever forget
Where Baron Korwyn lost the fight,
he pummeled a bard he'd just met!
Though the marks may have faded,
the sting to his pride's an embarrassment that lingers yet
As for me, inspiration struck blindingly fast,
and more painful than I would've bet.


And here, good gentles, ends the tale
How this bardsmiting fiend struck me low
I'd thought in feast hall, truce was kept
All were allies, and none would be foe
Like Odin before me; this wisdom I share
Nearly cost me an eye to bestow
When the talk turns to battles, be prudent my friends
And be ready to duck from a blow


"This was originally the 3 words from a hat piece I did for Mists Bardic 2009. Soon after arriving at the event, I walked behind Master Korwyn as he was demonstrating some cool move to Sir Leon, and I got smacked upside the head. So I had several hours to plan my revenge, and when I pulled the words "war horse, leopard, and knight" I threw together the first two stanzas and the chorus. For the following year at Mists Bardic, I added the final two stanzas, and cleaned it up a bit, losing the word 'knight' in the process, and used it for the 'master work' category." -- Alys Sheffield

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